Dying to Be Me: My Journey from Cancer, to Near Death, to True Healing by Anita Moorjani

"Previously when I felt lost, one of the first things I did was to search outside for answers. I looked to books, teachers, and gurus, in the hope that they’d provide me with the ever-elusive solution. That’s exactly what I did when I was first diagnosed with cancer. But I only ended up feeling even more adrift because I was giving my own power away again and again.

I FOUND THAT HAVING AN INSIDE-OUT VIEW MEANS being able to fully trust my inner guidance. It’s as though what I feel has an impact on my entire universe. In other words, because I’m at the center of my cosmic web, the Whole is affected by me. So as far as I’m concerned, if I’m happy, the universe is happy. If I love myself, everyone else will love me. If I’m at peace, all of creation is peaceful, and so on.

If things seemed challenging, instead of trying to change them physically (which is what I did pre-NDE), I began checking in with my internal world. If I’m stressed, anxious, unhappy, or something similar, I go inward and tend to that first. I sit with myself, walk in nature, or listen to music until I get to a centered place where I feel calm and collected. I noticed that when I do so, my external world also changes, and many of the obstacles just fall away without my actually doing anything.

What I mean by being “centered” is experiencing being at the center of my cosmic web, being aware of my position. This is really the only place any of us ever are, and it’s important to feel our centrality at the core of it.

But from time to time, I would forget my central place in the cosmos. I got caught up in all the dramas, contradictions, angst, and pain of the physical world and couldn’t see myself as one of the expanded, magnificent, infinite beings we all truly are.

Luckily, I realized at those times that we never really become disconnected from the center. Rather, we temporarily lose sight of it and don’t feel the sense of peace and joy that comes from it. We get caught up in the illusion of separation and can’t see that happiness and sadness go hand in hand—like light and dark, yin and yang. Our sense of disconnection is simply part of the illusion of duality that makes it difficult to see oneness forming out of perceived separation. But getting centered means seeing through this and once again feeling our infinite place at the center of it all . . . at the center of oneness." 

~ Anita Moorjani from Dying to Be Me: My Journey from Cancer, to Near Death, to True Healing ~

Does Love Hurt?

Last Friday on Facebook I posted a few thoughts about love- how it heals what is broken and takes us home. I also wrote,"That it broke me when someone I loved threw me across the room and I heard from the inside, the bones of my face cracking on the kitchen floor." 

A got a little flurry of emails, messages and a couple of comments from folks who wondered if I was saying that love threw me across the room. I wasn't. My then-husband did the throwing and no, he was not being loving in any sense of the word when he did so.

But love did play a role in the impact that the violence had on me. Violence at the hands of a stranger must be terrifying. But finding yourself being battered and bruised by someone you love, someone with whom you have made love and life-plans, stayed up with all night talking, gone with to family dinners, shared canoe trips and silly laughter and secret dreams, turns you inside out. 

From my own history and from working with others I know that the most common reason people give for not leaving someone who continues to abuse them is, "But I love him/her," or "S/he says s/he loves me, and I really think s/he means it."

Friends and relatives often respond by saying, "That's not love!" referring to either the violence- which most certainly is not love- or the desire to stay where there has been violence (which is a little more complicated in the face of tearful apologies, pledges to get help, and promises that it will never happen again.)

Here's what I finally figured out: Love is neither earned or unearned. It's a lot like grace- it comes and blesses and changes us. If the person we love abuses us, we don't have to figure out if they still love us despite their actions, and we don't have to stop loving them to remove ourselves from the place of being abused.

One of life's hard truths is that human beings sometimes treat people they love badly. How many of us can say we have never spoken harshly, aimed a barbed comment we know will hurt in the midst of an intimate relationship run amok? I am not equating unkind words with physical violence- there are important differences, including the level of cooperation required. When my six foot seven husband threw me across a room I had no choice about feeling pain when I hit the floor. But the truth is, although in theory words hurt only if we buy into them, in relationships words based on intimate knowledge of the other can do great harm because we know where the soft spots are, And in that moment the one on the receiving end doesn't have much choice about the anguish that arises- it just arises.

When I let myself acknowledge that I loved my husband but now had good reason to fear for my safety around him, I could leave.When I stopped obsessing about whether or not he loved me and how it was that someone could abuse someone they said they loved- could accept that this does indeed sometimes happen- I could remove myself from the place where violence was happening.

I am not saying that it is never possible to repair a relationship that has been marred by violence, although it's a long shot and not likely to happen without a great deal of skilled assistance. I am saying that love or no love, removing yourself from an abusive situation is vital to the mental, physical, and spiritual health of everyone involved, is an act of love.

I was a very young woman when I was beaten in my first marriage. It's been decades since I have had contact with the man who threw me across the room, but I wish him well. I remember the violence, but I also remember the canoe trips and the love-making, and the hopefulness of new love. I don't really know if he loved me or not. Honestly- and somewhat oddly- it doesn't feel like it's any of my business. Occasionally, when he comes to mind, I do a prayer for him, hold him in a moment when I remember the love I felt for the young man he was.

What freed me was realizing that I did not have to deny the love I had for him in order to leave. I just had to allow self-love to shape my choice. And I'm glad I did.

~ Oriah Mountain Dreamer ~

Oriah (c) 2014

Your Life Cannot Go Wrong

In reality, your world is set up so that nothing happens to you, but everything happens for you - for your awakening, for your growth, for your inspiration, for your exploration - even if you forget that, or sometimes cannot see it, or sometimes fall into distraction and despair.

When there is no fixed destination, you cannot ever lose your destination, so you cannot ever lose your path, so nothing that happens in your life can take you off your path. Your path IS what happens, and what happens IS your path. There is no other.

Everything is a gift on this unbreakable path that you call your life - the laughter, the tears, the times of great sorrow, the experiences of profound loss, the pain, the confusion, the times you believe you'll never make it, even the overwhelming heartbreak of love - even if you forget that sometimes, or cannot see that sometimes, or lose faith absolutely in the entire show sometimes.

But even the loss of faith in the show is part of the show, and even the scene where 'something goes wrong' is not indicative of the show going wrong, and so you are always exactly where you need to be, believe it or not, even if you are not.

Life can be trusted absolutely, even when trust seems a million light-years away, and life cannot go wrong, for all is life, and life is all. Understand this, know it in your heart, and spirituality is profoundly simple, as simple as breathing, as natural as gazing up at the stars at night and falling into silent wonder. The universe is more beautiful than you could ever imagine.

~ Jeff Foster ~

Meeting Spirit

Today I was struck by this beautiful story of Spirit and it has completely absorbed my mind.  This video tells a story of a remarkable silent Spirit communication between an Animal Whisperer and an angry panther as she calms him. Life Changing For Both Cat And Man. Much to learn indeed.

I felt an urge to google more about the magic and the mysticism of the Black Panther and its totem gifts. Enjoy!

Black Panther, Power Animal, Symbol of Astral Travel, Feminine Energy, Death and Rebirth

By Ina Woolcott

Black Panther's Power Includes astral travel, guardian energy, symbol of the feminine, death and rebirth, understanding of death, reclaiming ones power, ability to know the dark, aggressiveness and power without solar influence, reclaiming Power.

The Panther is a very ancient and powerful spirit guide. Their power is lunar (moon). In Egyptian rites a panther tail was worn around the neck or waist to help protect and strengthen the individual. Panther has been a symbol of the "Argos of a Thousand Eyes," who protected the heifer IO whom Zeus loved. After his death, the eyes were moved to the feathers of the peacock.

The name panther is frequently linked with a certain species of leopard or jaguar and sometimes the cougar. Black panthers are smaller but more fierce than lions and tigers. They are also brilliant swimmers and agile climbers. Because they have the ability to sprint with great speed, they hold the teachings of quick decisive action. Panthers are not the best long distant runners though, so those with this power animal should take part in movement therapies that improve endurance, e.g. swimming, martial arts. It is necessary to learn how to pace oneself, to not push to fast or hard on any one task.

Panthers are generally loners, extremely comfortable with themselves and are often drawn to other solitary people. Women with Panther, Leopard or Jaguar power animals frequently find themselves raising their children alone, whether it be through divorce or circumstance. People with this power animal can develop clairaudience, the ability to hear communications from other forms of life or dimensions. They must trust their thoughts and inner voice/visions as they are based in reality. This is an animal guide to assist you on your path, sometimes in the form of a real person such a mentor or teacher. The Black Panther is endowed with great magic and power, which will increasingly be experienced.

Panthers have over 400 voluntary muscles that can be used at will when required. Panthers are able to move gracefully in and out of situations, as well as freeze and not be noticed. This is a symbol of the ability to shapeshift realities, using all parts of the body to perform a task. The gift of Panther is the power of silence. They are near silent when hunting or stalking prey, and know when to make themselves seen and when to become unseen.

Panther holds the secrets of worlds that are unseen and are associated with lunar energies. Within the darkness of night resides the truth of creation. Black panthers have great mysticism associated with them. They represent the life and power of the night. They can show us how to welcome the darkness and rouse the light within it. Those with this power animal contain knowledge of a galactic origin, and have a responsibility to look after and respect this knowledge. Caution must be used when sharing it with others. When the student is ready the teacher appears, and vice versa. If the student isn't ripe the information given could trigger negative consequences.

Panthers possess acute sensitivity. The hairs that cover their lithe bodies, especially on the face, pick up subtle vibrations. This is symbolic for those with this guide. It is an indication of a need to pay attention to their feelings and honour the messages those feelings transmit.

Touch can be a significant path to explore to awaken ones concealed gifts. The black panthers sleek, smooth and sensual coat has been linked to sexuality. If panther comes into your life it may be asking you to resolve old sexual issues, or to embrace your sexuality fully.

When experiencing the presence of panther, one of their most striking features is their unblinking stare. It seems to see right through the body. Those with panther medicine can use their eyes as a healing tool and have the potential to heal on a cellular level.

Panther is a powerful guide to have, always bringing a guardian energy to those to whom it comes.

Source: http://www.shamanicjourney.com/article/6014/black-panther-power-animal-symbol-of-astral-travel-feminine-energy-death-and-rebirth